Smartass Quotes: 48 Smart and Sarcastic Lines that Kick Ass

It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up. I may have my faults, but being wrong isn’t one of them. It is my firm belief that it is a mistake to hold firm beliefs. For further information, consult your pineal gland. Today is an excellent day to become a missing person. Heute die Welt, Morgens das Sonnensystem! I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous. Dating processes are dependent on the analysis of rocks.

30 Witty Dating Quotes From Celebrities

In many cases this is one of those life situations that can cause an emotional roller coaster. As I’ve mentioned in one of my first posts here the act of giving can be incredibly deep and meaningful to the giver. When this passing of care, love, and intimate feelings are interrupted in some way a great deal of hurt can follow. Hurt that can be greatly squelched if only the question of why was answered. The problem is many people returning gifts are afraid of a confrontation or to hurt you any further and will try to be as vague as possible.

The good thing is you can find closure in some of the most common reasons why a gift has been returned below.

Whether you are looking to write it on a post it note, text it, email it, post it to your significant others Facebook page, or just say it out loud to the one you love, there are many ways to say how you feel.

June 30, Find the middle ground between overt flirting and being too coy. Sometimes us guys have a hard time picking up on the fact that you’re flirting. Sure, we all know that business about you touching your hair when we’re talking, and you leaning forward and touching a chest his or yours when you giggle, but those “sure-fire signs” can be interpreted as wrestling with a bad hair day or a case of laughter-induced vertigo, respectively. On the other hand, playing Britney ’07 while getting out of your car may be a touch overkill as well as supremely embarrassing if he’s not down with your lady business.

The best play is the middle ground. Juice up the physical contact. Breaking the force field is a great start and if you’ve rubbed your feet on some fuzzy carpet first and there’s a literal shock when you touch him, well, bully for you. Buy him a drink. Irrespective of what the last several decades have done in terms of earning parity and gender role flip-floppery, we always recall when a lady buys us a brewski.

If you can throw in a reasonable and flattering celebrity comparison, so much the better. If his collar is askance or he has a mess of unintentional fly-aways or he’s rocking a frat tuck a maneuver in which only the front of a man’s shirt is tucked in, oftentimes exposing an interesting belt buckle or emphasizing the crotch region in a clearly no frat tuck milieu, hook him up. It’s not selfish to increase his sexy. Establish an inside joke.

If You Want A Relationship, Let Men Pursue You

Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. Now that is something I know to be true. For some, quite inexplicably, love fades. For others, love is simply lost.

If you are looking for the best I love you quotes and memes to help let someone know exactly how you feel in a. super sweet, creative way, you’ve come to the right place.

To be honest, I have a total crush on him! This is the biggest sign of whether or not a guy is into you. He talks to you about being interested in other women comfortably. So maybe you and him talk on a regular basis. Now, a guy might talk about how another woman is hot randomly, and sometimes that can be innocent. He has no interest in talking to you. This is plain enough. Negative body language cues include: In fact, I lay out the foundations for all the most common relationship advice problems here , so you can check that page out.

Missing a date or two is one thing, but if this is a regular occurrence then it becomes telling. Casual tone of voice.

Discordian Quotes

Start bitching when he uses you for laundry or as a human shield. For the first week on our cruise, most people thought my wife and I were Siamese twins. But if you got as much barely-legal student poontang as The Hawkster, you’d be in a wheelchair too. I hope to be a sore loser. It’s staying up all night looking for them that does you in. Google asked me ‘Did you mean:

Loving someone you can’t have, quite frankly, sucks. As Kate Winslet put it in The Holiday (because I really couldn’t have put it any better myself). I’ve found almost everything ever written about love to .

Great advice except for the fact that it does not work. If I were to follow your advice I would have no relationship at all. October 10, at 9: Soja — Take heart! You have not been taught how to lie, trick and manipulate. Just being yourself is going to land you your great guy because you are NOT going to play stupid games, but honestly let him know that you are interested. October 13, at There are no tricks to attraction.

Quality Quotes

Women are from Venus. Computers are from hell. More recent developments in paper-based technology include improved ‘write-once’ update devices which use tiny rolling heads similar to mouse balls to deposit colored pigment. All these devices require an operator skilled at so-called ‘handwriting’ technique. It depends on what properties are necessary for a device to be classed as a computer: That it has Randomly Accessible Memory?

Discordian Quotes Give a monkey a brain and he’ll swear he’s the center of the universe. A man’s a man all his life; a woman’s sexy until she’s your wife!

This is probably due to the number of dating sites and dating apps Tired of Tinder? Seven Free Alternative Dating Apps Now that Tinder is charging for its services, it might be time to turn to one of the many other dating apps available. Which will you try? Read More available, which makes it much easier to find your potential happy ever after. Not every guy you meet online will be a player. Many very nice guys are just painfully shy when meeting new people.

In some cases this borders on clinical social anxiety disorder.

Sexual quotes

Dear Wendy is a relationship advice blog. You can read about me here , peruse the archives here and read popular posts here. You can also follow along on Facebook and Instagram. We are both in our late 20s and he is wonderful to me. I enjoy the time we spend together, and we get along very well. About a month before we met, he slept with a friend of his, and she became pregnant the condom broke and she took Plan B — supposedly.

“When you find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stand in front of you when other’s cast stones, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who will hold your hand when your sick, who thinks your pretty without makeup, the one who turns to his friends and say.

CypherSD March 23, at 9: When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours. Obviously I am painting religious people with a very broad brush, but it seems to me that most of them choose a particular god because it was the one their parents and family taught them was real, or perhaps because it better reflects the world as they want it to be in the case of conversions.

Gregg March 23, at 9: Jake de Backer March 23, at 9: Dogs do not ritually urinate in the hope of persuading heaven to do the same and send down rain. Asses do not bray a liturgy to cloudless skies. Only man behaves with such gratuitous folly. It is the price he has to pay for being intelligent but not, as yet, quite intelligent enough.

9 Ways To Let A Guy Know You Like Him (But In A Sneaky, Subtle Way)

Here are 46 quotes to get you started. Everyone loves a smartass. In fact, people love sarcasm, which makes it a great outlet to get all of that pent up resentment out while slapping a smile on your face. If you have ever been offended by someone with nothing but a gaping mouth and a figurative puff of smoke as a response, you know how tragic a lack of a comeback can feel. Nasty ex sniffing around? Friend making bad life choices?

Everything you’re feeling is totally normal, from the excitement that you’ve found someone you like to the disappointment that he’s having a child with someone else and the fear of the unknown.

This is something that we should definitely be talking about. Relationship Questions to Ask for Long-Term Commitment For one thing, it is very likely that you will at least go on a date with someone who is suffering or has suffered from mental health problems. Here are some things to think about when it comes to getting into a relationship with someone with depression , anxiety , PTSD , ADHD or similar mental health conditions: In order for maintain a line of open communication, your partner needs to know that you are okay talking about his mental health without judgment or assumption.

One good thing that you can do is have a weekly check-in with your partner. This gives you both a chance to bring up feelings and issues that you might be having that could affect your relationship.

How to Get a Girl You Like but She’s Dating Someone?